Road of Blog - 2

Is it money I'm after? Why did I start a blog? I think it's important to clear out such thoughts from my head as the content creator in this scenario. Sure, I believe it would be nice to generate income from a blog, but let's look at reality. What are the odds this will ever generate revenue? I won't state a number, but I would wager the odds are probably abysmal. So no, I didn't start this with a financial incentive.

Then what am I after? As I stated in the first post, as well as briefly in the second post, I don't have a destination set. Other's often perceive me as confident, defensive, scheming. Or maybe that's my delusion. I can't speak for others except for what has been spoken. I see myself as a twisted, cynical homunculus. 

ho·mun·cu·lus

/həˈməNGkyələs,hōˈməNGkyələs/

noun

a very small human or humanoid creature.

It is not up to me how others perceive me for that is not my place nor my right. I try not to care how others see me, but it's difficult not to. Maybe the perception of others I described is accurate, I cannot deny nor confirm. I myself lack confidence in most of what I think, feel and do. 

Maybe that's one of intents of this content. To simply leave a recollection of thoughts to look back on. In my younger days, my embarrassment and shame lead to me deleting all content I had created. As I age, I became slightly wiser and rather regretful of my actions as it could have lead to more self-enlightenment. Perhaps the actions themselves served purpose as I type this now without intent to nuke the contents I had created in an emotional surge.

One of the decisions I have made already is to not look up "HOW TO BLOG" or any of the guides as I would have in the past. A more pure experience, as I consider it a more "spoiler-free" journey of blogging. Why limit creativity in what I do by relying on a guideline? That seems to defeat the purpose of something like a blog in my opinion. Why anyone would or why I would have is up for debate. Just to explain, I still am very much addicted to googling information, or scrying the web. It's just that given a truly free environment for myself without any real strings being a foreign concept due to my anxiety and paranoia may result in more organic content being written. Or it might just be dog shit. Hard to say. But what's to say but what I say? Exactly. Fuck 




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