at the end of it

i prefer none of it

to be seen in the public eye

it changes what i cry

stories and parts of myself that i never shared

out in the open, stabbed and stared-

at and ridiculed

but honestly, 

it doesnt offend me

precisely

because i never tried to impress anybody


its more of a relief 

that i was able to fully commit 

to something so deeply 

and come swimming back


like an addiction

but without developing a habit.


ironic, 

my tendency 

to develop an obsession to immerse myself

turns out its good for creative outbursts

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